I had occasion to attend a funeral this morning. The deceased was in attendance, looking nothing like himself.
The visitation was everything you'd hope it would be. A gathering of family, friends, and loved ones. Some of them hadn't seen each other in years; some of them hadn't met the spouses or children of long-past acquaintances. It was a time of sharing, reintroducing, and first meetings. A wonderful time.
The service started off fairly standard; the usual invocation, prayers, etc. When the deceased is Christian, it only makes sense that the service in their memory will reflect their beliefs about the universe and what happens after death. We sang hymns that were especially beloved, and the pastor read memories of the departed penned by his children and grandchildren. All of this was an excellent tribute to the life and legacy of a man who, in his son-in-law's words, "...if you can't get along with [him], you can't get along with anyone."
"But if you've come to this service to say goodbye, you're here for the wrong reason," transitioned the pastor. Then began an exhortation about how we should not say "goodbye" to a person of faith, but merely "see you later." For the only reason we would need to say "goodbye" is if we don't know Jesus.
"So let me tell you about my BFF – my Best Friend Forever – Jesus Christ!" And then he proceeded to launch into an extended peroration detailing the gospel from the start. He even cited the exact weight of the Messiah at His birth! (In units which hadn't yet been invented, in a culture which didn't weigh infants.) I found the whole thing in extremely poor taste. The only reason I didn't get up and walk out is to keep my wife in the good graces of her nominally Christian extended family.
If everyone attending the service is actually a Christian, such an exposition is pointless – they all already subscribe to your faith and have no need to be converted. If they're only superficially Christian, they've still heard every bit of the story before and the exposition is still pointless. And if you have someone attending the service who isn't a Christian – say, a Satanist – then it's downright offensive to turn the memorial of someone they loved into an occasion to force your own beliefs down their throat. (Plus, I know what the Bible says better than many Christians, so still pointless!) And in the most likely case, that the officiant doesn't know the first thing about the majority of the people present, he or she should assume there are people of many faiths present and be fucking respectful.
It's not unlikely that I'll have a Christian minister of some variety officiating my own memorial when I'm gone. To distract myself and hopefully not stare at the pastor with quite as much anger, I started trying to envision our own parish priest having to co-officiate with one of the Ministers of Satan in my local congregation. I actually think he'd manage it with a fair amount of grace, which is one of the reasons I'm comfortable continuing to attend his church.
But as I've said several times today, funerals are for the living. The dead are dead and care no longer; the funeral gives closure and community validation of grief for the people who have suffered a loss. If I die before my wife, the closure and community she will need – or at least would choose today; Dark Lord knows these things change! – is Christian.
But I hope she would have the tact, or at least the respect for my beliefs, not to have my corpse used to proselytize anyone who shares those beliefs. Or anyone who holds any other beliefs. It's simply not the time. When people are gathered to celebrate me, let the celebration be about my life and the good I have hopefully done for the world in general and my family in particular. And at the end, let everyone who wishes say:
"Hail Satan! Amen."